Subversive element:

12:22 am - Thirty-eight is cowabunga!

There are concepts in quantum physics that can be interpreted as the idea that we control the reality around us. The more people that expect an outcome reduce the chances that any other outcome is possible. If enough of us believe that something is true, then that belief changes the universe.

That being said, for anyone who loved Transformers or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I ask you not to bitch on the Internet that Michael Bay has ruined your childhood or that he will destroy everything good about those four ninja terrapins that we all love.

Instead,every morning when you rise to wakefulness and look at the universe waiting for your impact, I ask you to state the following mantra as if it was a known, true fact:

"Michael Bay has ass cancer, in his dick, and he will never make another movie."

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02:05 pm - Thirty-eight is better than, ah fuck it, I'm old

So, some combination of nagging from Mone, Tyson Hood and my doctor made me do a sleep study last month. Lo and behold, I have sleep apnea. Probably since Laramie. I'm not sure why it got worse once we moved to NY (probably my kitty, Montague, since I'm allergic and his mommy/warden), but it's gotten worse.





So, my first sleep study showed that I have 147 sleep episodes per night, with periods of 65% O2 saturation throughout the evening (under 90% is bad). Oh, and I have the blood of a Sherpa. As in by Red Blood Cell count is 2X what it should be.

Sheesh. It's like my body demands to go for the record. Hey, at least I'm not diabetic.

So, after a month of worrying that I've been killing brain cells every night for the past 15 years of my life, I saw a pulmonologist and got a bi-pap machine. That's right, a bi-pap. A plain ole c-pap won't fix my face, I need a machine that breathes for me. Feh. So, finally, I picked up my life support system last night. At 10:30pm, I hooked myself up and went to sleep.

I had 2 sleep episodes. Two, instead of 147. I don't know what my O2-stats were, but considering the way my brains are working right now, I imagine that they were 99% all night. There was one small problem: I didn't move all night. No shifting. No curling into a fetal position. Just lying like a corpse (an artificially breathing corpse). I got up once during the evening, around 3am, but other than than I was in the same position all night.

So, my back was killing me in the morning. The funny thing is, after a hot shower, I was a-ok.

Now, my brain is crazy active. Like ADHD active. I'm not sure if this feeling will last forever, but while I have it I'm gonna go cure cancer or something.

Peace out.

08:33 am - Thirty-eight is kinda poopy

Ok, so yesterday was a terrible day. Not because of any one event, but because I realized that my department is NOT planning on hiring me for the long-term. I was hired as a Visiting Assistant Professor. The department grew too fast and could not keep up with their retirements. I had been told that there were two tenure-track positions in the pipe: one in genetics and one in molecular biology. I was told this by the former chair, who wen up to the Dean's office. Yesterday, the department released four job ads for review. Of the four ads, I qualify for none.

None.

They want an Animal Physiologist, a Developmental Biologist, a Parasitologist and an ichthyologist. I am a Plant Cell Biologist. Maybe on a good day I'm a biochemist, but chemistry teaches those kids.

So, this means that I will not be staying at Oswego past the end of my two-year contract. I don't know this, for sure, but The writing is on the wall. Did I expect a tailor-made position for me? No. I did kind of expect the word "plant" somewhere in at least one of the four ads.

So, I'll talk with the new Dean, my old chair, next week and see what this all means for me. Honestly, I'm so pissed off right now that I'm not thinking straight.

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12:18 am - Thirty-eight is better than pfffffythhththtp

Man, I feel a million years old today. I got an MMR vaccine yesterday for my graduate English class. Because as a professor I am safe, but as a student I am a menace to the campus. So, my joints hurt and I feel like doo. I just wanna curl up and pass out.

I don't know what it is about this week. William and Mone seem to be having a good time. It's Winter Break for Wm, so he's happier than a fly in poop. Mone is driving him out to my parents' tomorrow, so he can hang out with my folks and my nephew. Me, I get to teach and eat hot dogs. Whoo hoo.

I'm just grumpy. Don't mind me.

11:38 pm - Thirty-eight is better than like a good neighbor, State Farm is there

So, I was so pissed off on the 28th, that I decided to try and beat some bad weather back to Oswego and write off the rest of my holiday with the folks.

I should have stayed. On the way home, we hit an arctic cold front, which froze the road, which made my van hit a pole. We were going slow, so no one was hurt. The van, pfffft. State Farm is giving me $4800 for it, but I haven't even got my NYS title in the mail yet. We still have the Maxima, which works for the time being. I don't know when we'll need two cars again, but with the snow, parking is an issue anyway.

Now I have one more week before school starts again. My office is finally getting hallowed out. I'm hoping to have my evenings free this semester, so I can finish unpacking and start writing. I will have Cub Scouts, and Boy Scouts, and an English Master's class on Mondays, and gaming on Fridays. So, I'll have three nights free. Oof.

Well, at least I have a place of my own at home, now.

11:15 pm - Thirty-eight is better than... why is my kid the only one who understands respect? Oh yeah, I beat

Another shitty Christmas. It's my fault, mostly. I gave away all my cool gift for William ideas to Jay and my parents. That left me with buying him a new cell phone, clothes, and an SD card. I should ave just bought him Skyrim and the video camera and told everyone else that gift cards are fine. That way, I would be the awesome one.

Ah well. New Years resolutions this year are going to involve keeping a bit more back for myself.

What did I end up with? $100. Star Wars Legos. The complete Soap DVD set. And some UPS mystery gift.

Wm and Mone got everything they asked for. I will say that a few of the nieces and nephews in my life have been less than gracious about accepting the extravagant gifts that I bought them. Which is fine. I can just have them openly disrespect me for half as much next year. William was having a very hard time with it. He saw the kids being snits to me and Mone, and we didn't ake a fuss. He would never get away with that shit at home, so he tried it out and we came down on him like Hera on one of Zeus's bastards. So, the next day he strted yelling at the kids for being assholes, and then got in trouble with my parents for being mean. At the end of the day, he aid "fuck it," and did the nly thing he could do: he went to bed early. I guess being lazy is better than being mean. Ah well, my family always put the "fun" in dysfunctional.

At least I'm not up to myears in work. Oh wait, I am. More New Years Resolutions.

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08:46 pm - Thirty-eight is better than thirty... I took a 4-hour nap today

So, I spent last night burning the midnight oil trying to get some grading done for work. I think I made it about half-way through by 2:45am. Since the year is winding up, everyone wants a piece of my time. I was supposed to go pick up my mattress today, finally, but after last night I don't think I'd survive the drive. So, probably Wednesday, I hope. That seems like it could work best.

So, the first SUNY Oswego permanent job ad is up. I'm going to try and schedule a meeting with my Department Head to see what he thinks about me applying for the position. I will say this, it doesn't suit me 100%. There is a big Evolution component that I just don't have. I'm a biochemical/molecular guy. That means I can do Cell or Genetics, but unless you're talking Molecular Evolution, I just know the basics. I put together a list of current courses that I feel comfortable teaching, along with a list of some ideas for new courses. I guess I'm making a big splash. The students like me and I have some cool plans for the Spring, since I'll have like 3 weeks to prepare.

But right now I just need to survive November. From now until 12/6 I have about five big writing projects to finish up. The sad thing is they're all teaching or technical. Nothing is fiction or fun. Which means Stella's novel is taking a backseat to the paid gigs, once again. I feel bad, because i want to write this stuff. The ideas are clawing at the inside of my skull. It's just that all of these other projects are obstacles blocking my progress.

I've been gaming once a week. Tabletop/Pathfinder with my friends Jay & Connie from college. They have a group of 6, including me. We just finished the high-level Kingmaker campaign. It was ok in the beginning, but Book 6 is just 15 boss fights. Plus, module play does not lend itself to my style of roleplay. Ah well, we're on to something else now.

In a week or two, I should have the whole house set up. So, I'll finally post some pics here and on Facebook. I might not have a couch yet, but I don't view that as a bad thing. It's hard to pass out in front of the TV in a director's chair.

What else? Vacation plans? I'm still working on those.

08:59 pm - Thirty-eight is better than I still miss you Rhonda, you look great.

So, I have been playing Fallout New Vegas for over 180 hours. I have played through the entire main story twice and all four DLCs. While the story for Fallout 3 seemed a bit more epic, the open world of FNV is what made me play it for an additional 110 hours.

Now, find this time well spent. Not only because I paid like 80 bucks for this game, plus 10 bucks per DLC, but because it relaxed the hell out of me. The exploration, the character and the ass-kicking were a perfect cap to most crappy weeks.

Now, I have to try something else...

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04:44 pm - Thirty-eight is better than thirty- : Day Nine

Here's the amazon link for the book. I guess you can only pre-order on amazon, right now.

http://www.amazon.com/Braaaiiinnnsss-Academics-Zombies-Robert-Smith/dp/0776607707/ref=sr_1_5_det?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319226350&sr=1-5#productPromotions

There is supposed to be a big release party for the book up in Ottawa, which is only 3-hours away.  Unfortunately, I have to teach on Halloween.

Ah well.  What can ya do?

I got a grant this week for plant research. Which is nice. I aso bought a bed this week. The inflatable was murdering me by inches. I've started m final round of unpacking, so books and toys. Why do i have so much fun buying stuff, but now I don't even want to look at it?

12:35 am - Thirty-eight is better than thirty-eaten: Day five

I usually post on my birthday and reflect about the previous year, try to make sense of the journey, and make plans for the days ahead.

So, I look back at what I posted last year. It was a video of an Indian man teaching foreigners how to use the native toilets. I just watched it again and ir's still funny as hell.

So, in light of the fact that scat-humor is the best I could come up with last year, I think I'll just do a list this year.

Things that are Different this Year

1. I moved to Oswego. Which is nice. I'm closer to my folks and my brother's family. I'm closer to my college roommate and my friends from Fredonia. I miss drinkin with Tyson and gaming with Grant & Jen and lunches with Jose & Gina. I miss camping with the Scouts. William in in a new Troop, bu they seem to have a lot of adult leaders. He went camping this weekend on his own. He made some friends and impressed the adult leaders, so maybe I don't need to be there all the time?

2. I'm a professor now. Sure, i don't have tenure, bu maybe someday. It's a far sight better than sticking arond Ames and not getting a raise for 3 years.

3. My first book was published on October 8th. Braaaiiinnns: From Academics to Zombies. I'm sure Joe and Shirley will be proud.

4. I made enough money last year to think about voting Republican. Sonofabitch, I worked three extra jobs and lost half of the additional income to taxes. I wish Uncle Sam would take me out to dinner first. Or at least use some lube.

5. I am apparently a BMOC at Colorado's online Global campus.

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